Two former Harvard professors join forces to revolutionize how we handle conflict
Bob Bordone, a conflict management expert, and Dr. Joel Salinas, a leading neurologist, tackle the growing challenge of handling conflict in all areas of life, from boardrooms to personal relationships. In Conflict Resilience, they introduce a new approach: using conflict as a tool for growth. Instead of avoiding or escalating disagreements, the book teaches you to face them with courage and compassion, transforming conflict into a source of strength and deeper connection.
Our world is more divided than ever
From politics to workplaces, zero-sum thinking is straining our most important relationships and institutions.
We've lost productive disagreement
Too often, conflict is seen as a battle to win, rather than an opportunity to build stronger, deeper relationships.
Conflict avoidance isn't working
Ignoring conflict doesn't solve the problem; it only makes it worse.
A Toolkit for coming together in a conflicted world
Combining advanced conflict management strategies with cutting-edge neuroscience, Bordone and Salinas provide a simple yet profound three-step framework for navigating conflict:
Robert C. Bordone
Bob Bordone is an internationally-recognized expert in negotiation, mediation, consensus-building, and facilitation. A Senior Fellow at Harvard Law School, Bob founded and directed the Negotiation and Mediation Clinical Program during his two decades as the Thaddeus R. Beal Clinical Professor of Law. He has trained thousands of executives, government leaders, and diplomats through Harvard’s Program on Negotiation and the Harvard Negotiation Institute. Beyond Harvard, Bob serves on several boards and advisory groups focused on civil discourse and conflict resolution, bringing his expertise to organizations like Seeds of Peace and the National Institute for Civil Discourse.
Joel Salinas, M.D.
Dr. Joel Salinas is the Founder and Chief Medical Officer of Isaac Health, a telehealth platform that focuses on brain health and dementia. He is a Harvard-trained behavioral neurologist, speaker, and writer with expertise in clinical approaches to brain health. Dr. Salinas has led research on the psychosocial determinants of brain health and authored over 40 academic papers and contributed to eight books on neurology. His work has been featured in the NYT, WSJ, and Forbes. He is also Clinical Assistant Professor of Neurology at the NYU Grossman School of Medicine, and was previously faculty at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital, serving as Clinical Director of the McCance Center for Brain Health.
“Conflict Resilience is the book we need now to help us weather these polarizing times and thrive in the future. A ground-breaking guide to facing our most daunting conflicts with grit, authenticity, and creativity, this book reassures us that, even when resolution seems unlikely or even impossible, we need not give up or get into a shouting match. Instead, we can negotiate our disagreements directly, with empathy and authenticity, and find a path to connection, personal growth, and enduring relationships. Conflict Resilience educates, entertains, and ultimately imparts a hopeful view of how conflict can change our lives—and our world—for the better.”
William Ury, co-author, Getting to Yes and author, Possible: How We Survive -- and Thrive -- in an Age of Conflict
Conflict Resilience combines powerful neuroscience with practical expertise to redefine how we engage with disagreement. Bordone and Salinas don’t just show us how to face conflict—they provide tools to transform our mental and emotional patterns for the better. They truly offer a paradigm-shifting approach to conflict. More than managing tough moments, Conflict Resilience teaches us to use conflict as a catalyst for growth, mental health, and stronger bonds. With an approach that blends science and compassion, this book is truly a game-changer for personal and professional relationships. Essential reading for anyone committed to mental well-being and healthy connections.
— Dr. Laura Erickson-Scroth, MD, Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at New York University
As a university president, my job is to orchestrate productive conflict during polarized and discordant times. I’ve read many helpful “how to” guides, but none as practically useful and scientifically validated as Conflict Resilience. Bordone and Salinas do far more than simply impart strategies and tactics; they offer a compelling case for why learning to sit with each other in the discomfort of our disagreement – even when the likelihood of persuasion is low – is the best (and perhaps only) way to deepen and build genuine connection with colleagues, fellow citizens, and even family. If you’re sick of the avoidance, tired of the fighting, and looking for a way to be authentic about the conflicts within yourself and the disagreements you have with others, do yourself a favor and read this powerful and timely book.
— Tania Tetlow, President, Fordham University
"If you are fearful, or even just hesitant, to engage in the difficult conflicts in your personal or professional life, Conflict Resilience is for you. Full of penetrating analysis, practical hacks, and illuminating stories, and buttressed by relevant and accessible insights from neuroscience, the authors provide a roadmap through emotions that block our capacity 'to genuinely sit with and grow from conflict.' Conflict Resilience invites us into the humble yet hopeful work of learning to hold even deep disagreement."
— Dr. Amy Uelmen, Director for Mission & Ministry, Georgetown University Law Center
"Conflict Resilience is a masterful, in-depth account of everyday conflict in which the authors share their original tools for finding greater connection amidst substantial disagreement. Knowing how to sit with uncertainty, find ease, and reach for the other side will be some of the most sought-after skills in the coming century, and Bordone and Salinas have delivered a grand gift in the form of their new book."
— Jenara Nerenberg, journalist and bestselling author of Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn't Designed for You
Bordone and Salinas start with an important but overlooked truth: conflict is not the problem, we are. Accepting that truth means reckoning with the deeper, internal work that is too often brushed over in favor of quick tactics. Thankfully, Conflict Resilience offers powerful and practical methods for building our capacity to not just handle but embrace the messy but essential work of conflict. This book is essential reading for anyone who faces friction in work or life — that is all of us!
— Jeff Wetzler, Author of Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You
[A] rare gift: a practical and entertaining book with compelling lessons for entrepreneurs, CEOs, and business leaders, as well as educators, students, and parents. Replete with vivid examples, supported by the latest brain science, and full of easy-to-implement hacks, it provides a brilliant roadmap for working through our disagreements in ways that help promote connection and creative problem-solving."
— Rob Waldron, Chairman, Curriculum Associates
"Bob Bordone and Joel Salinas are uniquely qualified to give valuable insight into the conflict that exists in everyday life. Conflict Resilience is a great read that will add depth to your thinking and practical strategies for your acting to navigate conflicts big and small."
— Chris Voss, Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended On It
"Conflict Resilience offers a powerful, practical recipe for true dialogue between people with opposing views. Robert Bordone and Joel Salinas have written exactly the book needed in our time."
— Daniel Goleman, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Emotional Intelligence
“Every leader—from the halls of Congress, to C-Suites, to university administrators and local officials—should read this book. With its practical advice on how to constructively disagree, hold your ground, and still get things done in an increasingly polarized world, Conflict Resilience is simply the best book I know on how to respectfully talk about policy differences and find constructive ways to work together.”
–Adam Kinzinger, former U.S. Congressman (R) and New York Times bestselling author of Renegade: Defending Democracy & Liberty In Our Divided Country
Name
(Dig Deep)
Understand the root cause of the conflict and the emotions behind it.
Explore
(Be Brave)
Face the conflict with openness and curiosity, ready to engage meaningfully.
Commit
(Own the Conflict)
Take responsibility for your role and make a commitment to growth through the disagreement.
